Remembering

Crater Lake, at the Delaware Water Gap

Coming home was a big lesson in remembering. The minute we got off the plane I felt the hot, sticky, impenetrable humidity of the Mid-Atlantic, even within the air conditioned terminal. I had forgotten the way the moisture saturates all the smells-- good and bad. As we waited for our shuttle to the car rental place, I glanced down at the grimy sidewalk to see an assortment of gum, cigarette butts, and filth. It's almost as if there aren't enough people in Victoria to make that kind of grossness that 1.5 million people can. As we were carted around the airport in a shuttle bus that blasted bad rap music, I remembered how the site of the Philadelphia skyline could make me want to cry-- and still does. It's a smathering of colonial history, ugly 1970's architecture, ghosts of the PSFS past, and the glass beast that is Comcast. I love that city.

The Shitty!

My parent's house is a site of a childhood simultaneously forgotten and remembered, with details that were overlooked for 25 years, and now have significance and meaning. The ornate and wobbly iron doorknob to my bedroom that still doesn't quite close unless you jiggle it just right. The cracks in each of the ceilings that either haven't grown in the 35 years my parents owned the house or have grown significantly since the last time I was there 10 months ago. The creaks and groans of the floorboards on the second floor landing, the staircases, the dining room. The patch of sandy dirt on the sidewalk just as you turn right from the backyard porch and the different shades of red in the brick along the side of the house, and how those shades changes when you applied water to them to draw as a child. I also remembered all of the hugs of my family-- the excitement and joy from Eric, the silliness and adoration from Brian, the all-encompassing one from Kate, the pureness and wholeness from my Mom, the sweetness and tenderness from my Dad. Slipping back into routine was easy, as I listened to the box fan in my window to my left and gazed at the dollar store glow-in-the-dark universe above my head.

Cape May Arcade

The tactile aspects of places that I visited are memories that are hard to recreate and remember if you're not around them all the time. I loved watching my feet sink into the sand as the warm Atlantic washed over them. The feeling of a hot campfire blazing the hairs off my legs during an August night as I listened to friends' voices again for the first time in a long time. The sensation of jumping into the brackish, cold water of a bay only to swim quickly for relief as I shivered and felt goosebumps on my arms for the first and only time during the hot weeks I was there. The pure and overwhelming sensation of holding my dear friends' child for the first time as I felt what could only be described as unconditional love and happiness for the child, my friend, and her husband.

Sand Dune Tracks

I loved being back home, but I also love being back in Victoria. Every time I said the word "home," I felt split between two worlds. I don't think it's fair to only label one place as home, for the guilt in mentioning that Victoria was my home or the awkwardness of labeling a place where I don't live as home shouldn't be as guilty or awkward as it was. I feel like I can make any place a home, even if it's only for a night, if I'm with Jon and if I try enough, and for now that works for me.

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

YVR to PHL

Cousins! And Tucker the dog

Yesterday I came home from a wonderfully exhausting trip back to the east coast. I initially decided to buy the plane tickets so I could see one of my dearest friends get married, but it also happened to be American Thanksgiving that same weekend! I managed to see a lot of my family and some of my closest friends while I was home, and feel like it was probably one of the most satisfying and productive trips I've had home. 

After reflecting on this trip soon after I got home, I realized that I have a hard time recognizing my need to be sad. I like to distract, deny, "be strong," and make excuses to not be sad. When my sister and I hugged goodbye, we both got teary-eyed, and while she admitted it, I hurried off and turned on emotionless business mode for the next 12 hours. It wasn't until I became upset with Jon for not changing the (admittedly very smelly) cat litter that I realized that something was off. I felt like I wanted to cry without knowing why, but realized (after I thought of Kate, Rachel, and I laughing about stupid youtube videos and started crying) that I needed to be upset and I needed to cry about leaving home again. Just that small recognition, awareness, and leaky eyes made me feel a hell of a lot better, and I feel much more settled.

Delayed layover in Toronto. They stamped by boarding pass instead of my passport!

Beginning of Thanksgiving with our first (of many!) guest, Aunt Mary!

Getting our nails did before Tara's wedding!

Getting all done up!

<3 <3 

This trip also resulted in finding out that Jon and I have quite a few visitors coming around our way in the next few months! Jon's sister and father will be joining us for Christmas, my mom and dad will be coming in March, my Uncle will be in Portland in May, and my Aunt may be following him in the summer! But most recently, my good friend Dana is hoping to come over soon after the new year because of Alaskan Airlines' current promotion: $200 round trip tickets from Philly to Seattle (scoop 'em up while you can, it ends Dec 9th)!

More awkward photo opps to be had soon!!

Exhausted & Excited

These last few weeks have been spent seeing friends, visiting favorite spots, packing, and sorting out our lives. We've gone out to dinner so many times I can barely count them, and I'm so happy I got to spend some quality time with some of my most favorite people. I couldn't have asked for a better last few weeks on the east coast.

Boating with Jon down the Jersey Shore

Despite all of this happiness, it's been bittersweet. Our cat, Mr. Clemens, has noticed the air of temporariness and has been crying almost every night, and Jon and I have both become exasperated with the endless packing and preparing with such a short time span. It feels weird to know that we're leaving in three short days while being in an area that I've known and lived almost my whole life. I've barely begun to process that I won't see my twin sister and her husband for a year and a half, except via Skype. They're moving to England for a year only a month after Jon and I leave, so even if we do get to go home for the winter holidays, they're not going to be there.

With so many exciting, nerve-wracking things to be handled, I feel simultaneously exhausted and excited. But right now more exhausted than anything. We're having our going away picnic/reception tomorrow (will it rain?) and then will be packing the car up on Sunday and leaving Monday. A part of me wants that time to be now so we can start the biggest adventure of our lives, but another part wants this time in limbo to never end.

Out to lunch with Karen

Dana's birthday vegan dim sum in Philly

The ladies at dim sum

Alex reading her vows to Matt near Boston

Some of my favorite Boston ladies

My sister Kate eating raspberries like Amelie

I guess this could be seen as a type of milestone in maturity. I was up in Boston for about three weeks before I made my first impromptu 8 hour bus trip back home, but I won't have that luxury now. We'll be on our own, supporting and relying on one another through the thick and thin, and I'm looking forward to that new stage of intimacy with Jon. I know whatever the future will bring will be saturated in great stories, happiness, and heartbreak-- all for a new life.

Ode to: Philadelphia

The skyline from the Art Museum

Oh, Philly, my Philly. The city of brotherly love, my first city love. So many good memories, secret places, and delightful spaces that it's hard to name them all. Being a relatively large city (around 1.5 million people), it allows for a wide variety of cultures, people, and habits to mingle and marinate. A lot of people complain of Philly being dangerous and ugly, but the "sketchy" parts make it real, and a challenging place to live and love. My uncle always said Philly's grime was part of its charm, and I agree.

Two of my best friends live within the city, which may be a reason why I love it so much. I also went on my first two dates with my husband here, so there's an added sentimental attachment. It was also the first city I can remember going to as a young girl, and I remember my face being plastered against the school bus windows while craning my neck in a vain attempt to see the tops of the buildings. I think if I were to come back to the east coast at any point, I'd love to live in this city, even if only for a little bit. 

City Hall

Some of my closest friends and I at The Barbery 

Independence Hall

My twin sister in Old City

The Franklin Institue (aka the best place everrr)

Me at the Art Museum

Hello and Welcome

General Statement of Intent: I'm starting this blog to document my progress moving from Boston to Philadelphia, and then Philadelphia to Victoria, BC. Along the way, I will post some of my favorite recipes (vegetarian, mostly vegan, largely gluten-free), cute outfits, adventures, travelling, feminist issues, photography, and whatever else I might find aesthetically pleasing or interesting. While I don't imagine this blog to be too much like a diary, I hope it to be a creative outlet during a time that I consider to be the most emotionally fraught and exciting time of my life.

Why Boston? Why Philly? Why Victoria?: I moved up from the Philadelphia area to Boston back in 2011 to start a graduate program in English composition. My boyfriend, now husband, eventually followed and moved up from South Carolina. We eloped back in March (2013), shortly after he found out he was accepted to a PhD program in Victoria, BC. We'll be road tripping from Philly to Victoria during the last week in July and intend on hitting up some cool spots. I'm thrilled and nervous to start this big adventure with the love of my life and best friend. We have yet to find an apartment and I have yet to find a job, so I might post some ups and downs during that process here.

Your interests seem a bit scattered. Why write about all of them? I'm not sure if I'll end up touching on every single thing that I mentioned in my statement of purpose, but these are things that interest me. I imagine I'll be reposting things that I've found via Reddit, Pinterest, and Feministing, and also some original content. To put it simply, this will be a lifestyle blog to encompass my lifestyle and possibly (hopefully!) the lifestyle of others.